He is the Author of my life...

God is revealing my story.
It is so interesting and scary at the same time.

I have so much more to learn. I am glad He is sharing in small doses...I don't think I could handle it all at once!

One of my favorite things is staying up late with a friend sharing memories, worries, laughs, random thoughts and so much more!

The month of may is going to be amazing!

I leave for the road trip in less than a month! so stoked!!

Highs and Lows of the day
High:Being completly moved out of that apartment
Low: Being exhausted and gross and sweaty because of it!

<3

OB adventure

It's amazing what an adventure can do for you.
Me and my friend Genisee went on an adventure. We just got on the freeway with no intentions to go anywhere. Although everywhere we ended up was not the right place. Finally we ended up in Ocean Beach. A place where I am somewhat familiar and a place that I have many dear memories. We went to this really good Greek place. And then we walked to the pier. There is something about the ob pier at 9 pm that is amazing. Such beauty.

I needed last night. I told her everything. We talked about my brokenness from friday night. We talked about the future. We talked about everything. We talked about boys... haha well the lack thereof. We talked about how that doesn't matter because God will show us who He wants us to be with when we are ready for that. I have a lot to work through. I have so much growing to do.

We got simple reminders that we are beautiful. Someone asked us if we had been thanked today and we said no then he thanked us for making the world so beautiful.

Last night was spontaneous. I needed to get away.

:(

Until tonight it's been so long since I actually really cried.
I forgot what it's like. Not safe while driving at 2:30 am


I don't even know what to say right now.

I am honestly just sad and that's the only word I am able to explain this...

All I need is You

The conversations that we had tonight really helped me in what I have been dealing with about relationships.

When I am ready God will provide me with someone. This is not something to be rushed. I should not be discouraged or feel sadness for never having a real boyfriend ever. I realize that there are plenty of people who are in the same situation as I am. It just seems as though everyone I know is in a new relationship. I just can't help but wonder if there is something wrong with me. I guess it goes along with some of the self esteem issues that I am working on...

I know God is teaching me to trust and if I were to pick a theme for 2008 it would have to be trust. I honestly think that this is the next part of my life God is trying to show me. I feel like it is normal to have these feelings but He wants us to trust in him. He has a plan. We were made in his image. In October God spoke to me like I have never experienced....He said something along the lines of that he is not going to give me someone to love until I love myself.

So true...but so hard.

+/-
+friendship
-work

Is it a crime that I have made new friends...that I fill my free time with people who build me up, not tear me down?

I do feel bad, but a guilt trip is unnecessary

Things have changed. It's a part of life. It's not easy, trust me I know. But it happens...

In my love be lifed high...

I am learning new things everyday. I am learning that it is really exciting and really scary and really fun to trust God with everything. I am also learning that it is not always easy. I am so used to holding back parts of my life that I think I can handle on my own...but not anymore. I'm done with that! Well, Im working on it at least.

I am really blessed. I just can't explain in all of the ways but God has given me so many AMAZING friends. He has blessed me with a family who actually wanted me. What an amazing feeling to count your blessings. I don't do that often enough.

+/- for the day

+Making it to work on time
-Walking in to work for another "fun" shift
+Using humor in a situation that sucks but is unchangeable
+Seeing the clock turn to 1 knowing I can leave and go spend the afternoon with amazing babies
+Spending time with amazing babies!
-Watching a brand new two year old who was just moved up to the pre school struggle with attachment issues and missing his friends at the infant center....seriously had tears in my eyes!
+Doing nothing...just relaxing when I got off.
-Cancelled plans
+Phone dates



:) Can't wait for college group tomorrow! Finally Wednesday...only 3 more days of work this week!

And I know You're there...

What a great day yesterday was!

I accomplished a lot during the afternoon. All of my support letters are now written stamped and mailed!

Flood was amazing. so amazing. There is just something about watching your close friend getting baptized that is just so inspiring. Such a beautiful moment. ( Congrats Lauren I'm so proud of you)
As I was waiting inside for the service to start a strange feeling came over me. I don't really even know how to describe it really. I just felt that something big was about to happen.

I woke up this morning happy and more awake than I have been is soooo long! I wasn't worried and I wasn't stressed. As I prayed in my car before I walked into work I felt God stirring in me. The day was great. I mean as good as it gets at work but still good.


I have so much ahead of me...God has a plan. I think I am starting to trust in it easier! :)

New blog

So, I decided that I need to write more. When I was in high school I used to write everything down and it was so good.

I know a few people who use this website for blogging so I figure it's a good one:)

I guess I will just start off by saying that my heart is hurting.

This week has been the longest week ever.

I am so drained that I can barely focus.

I am praying for a better week. I have a lot to do. Hopefully being busy will keep my mind off of things that I don't need to worry about.


I worry too much...and for what? God has a plan...why can't I just trust in it?